I have been having some troubles lately when it comes to finding the motivation to be creative. It's like I see awesome pictures and paintings and jewellery in my head but tell myself that I don't have the skills to actually make them happen. I did make two awesome pictures in December as gifts for Christy and my sister but it's like my brain decided to no longer do anything of the sort. It's bullshit!!! I want to stop being so lazy... I spend a lot of time getting high and watching movies in my smoking room, just because it's easy. I don't know why I can't convince myself that it is just as easy to get high, sit in my smoking room and work on some art. IT IS THAT EASY!! So I really need to start focusing on that. It honestly isn't going to be as easy as it seems but that is just because I am already working on becoming my dream self. I am changing so many things in my life that I don't make a point of changing anything else... But who says that I can't just keep changing things until everything is the way I want it to be. It's possible... people manage it all the time, which means that I can too!
Just because I am already rambling... I have made some amazing changes in my life this month already. I am honestly super proud of myself! I have started getting up at 7:00 am everyday except Sunday so I have enough time to form some kind of personal hygiene habit (cause I am a dirty hippie haha) and eat breakfast. I have also started buying actual groceries on Sunday's and preparing all of my breakfasts and lunches (and even some dinners) for the entire week. I feel so good today knowing that I have been taking care of myself... I mean come on... I have eaten a spinach salad every day this week...Who's the man?? That's right... ME! So... not only have I been cleaner and eating regular, healthy meals everyday; I have also been making a serious attempt at regular exercise. I do crunches everyday, hula hoop three times per week, and have started doing a work out video three times per week (which I will be increasing to four times per week next week). I am so excited about this new direction my life is taking. I have wanted to be the healthy, fit girl my entire life...so of course I became fat instead. I was fat! I know it... but I have lost 95 lbs so far and have 10 more to go to reach my goal weight. It is attainable now, I can feel it, and I will not let anything stop me. Anyway... so yes incorporating regular exercise has always been a goal of mine, and now I am finally making it happen. Once I get in a little bit better shape I hope to take a few exercise classes like dance (especially African dance), pilates, and yoga. Then I will move to the island where I plan on taking rock climbing and scuba diving lessons. I am going to be one seriously fit and healthy woman!! SQUEEE!! Haha!
I will definitely be keeping you (not that anybody reads this yet lol) up to date on my progress with this because I am super stoked about it. Maybe I will even post before and after pictures one day... not any time soon because I am definitely still too insecure for that... but one day!
More rambling... Well now you know what I have been working on lately... so I am going to make this last little bit quick...
GOALS FOR THE REST OF JANUARY
1. Cook one real meal every week and save the leftovers to use for future dinners/lunches
2. Do a workout video four times per week
3. Plan at least one what I wore post
4. Paint entire 4' x 4' canvas black so I can start my collage
5. Go bra shopping... man is it terrible wearing bras that don't fit lol
So...to end this rambling post... I was going to post a couple pictures... but I just got a new mac and haven't figured it out yet... oops