Thursday, May 23, 2013

It has been too long... and it will be even longer

Hola Gorgeous Hippies!!!!

Here's the thing... I love this blog. I think about it all the time and how sad I am that I have been so shitty at keeping up with it.

However... I do make this promise. I will be more diligent and more creative and post frequently... when I get back from Peru at the end of June.

I will be living in a new place, experiencing new things, exploring and adventuring.

Good things will come!!

I promise.

Much Love

Monday, March 18, 2013

Is it June yet??


This weekend was pretty much a total fail... Aside from going to see The Great and Powerful Oz, I didn't even really leave the house. I didn't eat healthy, I didn't workout, I didn't clean anything, or work on any kind of art. I was such a lazy mother fucker,  and to be completely honest, I feel terrible about it. I want to change my body and my life so badly that whenever I slide backwards (usually on the weekend) I immediately slip into my old habits (like skipping meals...SEVERAL meals) to make up for it. I know that my eating disorder will never completely go away, and that I will have to struggle every day in order to overcome it, but I know that I can do it. I just need to accept the fact that I am not perfect. I am going to be a lazy ass every once in a while, and eat shitty food, and sit on my butt watching TV ALL weekend. It is okay for me to do these things (I really should keep some "healthier" shitty food on hand though for when the cravings strike).
So yes... I had a shitty damn weekend, BUT I am going to pretend that it never happened and go home tonight, do my workout video and eat a salad for dinner. It has been decided!! I am going to be a good girl for the rest of the day... and then I am going to get up in the morning and attempt to be a good girl all day tomorrow as well. One step at a time, that is the best I can do.

Dinner tonight
- 2 cups spinach/ lettuce blend
- 1/2 cup carrot slices
- 1 tbsp. feta
- 1 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette
- 1 hard boiled egg

- 20 minute 30 day shred video
- 50 crunches
- Stretch

Fun time
- Watch The Walking Dead
- Watch a movie
- Bed by midnight

This is my plan for the evening, I am thinking about planning my weeks in advance and doing up one big post per week... maybe... I'll have to see if I even manage to complete tonight's list.

Much Love


P.S. Sorry for the lack of pictures. I really am trying to get better at taking more of them.

Monday, March 11, 2013

I am a terrible blogger...

Alright alright... I know that I have been awful lately. My plan was to have my blog truly up and running by March 4/13, which obviously didn't happen. I have been so lazy lately, and I didn't do anything at all in February. I have gained weight... only a couple pounds (so it's not really that big of a deal), I haven't worked on any form of art, I haven't been reading or journalling...really my life has been one huge fail lately.

It doesn't matter though because I am going to just pick myself up and start all over again... Today!!
Right now my life is pretty much all about learning to be healthy and forcing myself to eat right and workout, even when I don't want to. The hardest part of this entire situation is not slipping into my old eating disorder habits every time I gain a pound. My brain still tells me after I step on the scale and see that it is above 160 lbs to skip a meal (or a few meals) to get back to where I think I should be. I haven't succumbed to that though so I am pretty darn proud of myself... I have gotten rid of the eating disorder and am slowly getting rid of the impulses all by myself. It makes me feel strong. So... my main priorities are eating 3 meals that I make myself everyday with a couple healthy snacks if I am hungry or low energy, I will no longer eat after 8:00 pm, and I will workout 1-2 times per day, EVERYDAY... I am starting Jillian Michaels 30 day shred tonight so hopefully that will help me get down to my goal weight of 150 lbs and my goal size (size 6 in dresses, size 8 in pants) by June 1/13. I can do this!!! I have lost 91 lbs in the last 2 years so an extra 12 lbs should be easy for me.
I will be updating on how the 30 day shred goes... Here are my starting measurements (in centimeters) and weight.

Neck- 33               Bust- 97               Under bust- 86               Waist- 79   
Hips- 104              Arms- 28              Thighs- 51                     Calves- 38
Stomach @ the biggest part- 89

Weight- 162 lbs

I am pretty damn excited about this... which I hope I will use as motivation to not give up. I give up a lot, I technically started the 30 day shred last Monday but didn't do it at all this weekend (which is fucking stupid because it is only a 20 minute workout) which means that I have to start all over again because the whole point of the 30 day shred is to do it everyday for 30 days. I will not give up this time!!! I am going to work my ass off to make this happen because the only way I will get my dream body is if I work for it... it won't magically happen like it does in my dreams. I am in for the long haul... I have been fat before and unhealthy always and it is not something I wish to continue in my life.

- I am slowly starting to go through all of my shit and get rid of a bunch of stuff. I started with my books which are still sitting in a huge box at the bottom of my stairs and my huge bag collection. I decided to keep 15 bags and if I buy a new one I have to get rid of an old one. I cannot keep defining myself by my possessions. Next I will actually take all of the books I am getting rid of to the library and I will be going through my clothes and my shoes. I own a tonne of both and only wear a few things. My end goal is to be able to fit everything in my dresser and one of my small closets. I am pretty stoked to get rid of everything because I don't want to have to pack and move all of my useless shit to Nanaimo. I only need to bring things that I use and wear on a regular basis and all of my art. The walls of our place will be completely covered floor to ceiling in awesome art.

- Anyway.... I should probably start working so here are some pictures...

The most delicious salad ever

 The start of my new tattoo

The most hilarious burn ever... Mexico was not kind to my sister lol
I cleaned off the table and they decided to sit on it. Everything I own is theirs!!

Awww.... he is SO CUTE!!!

 Much Love


Monday, February 11, 2013

So... Very...Tired

Hola Hippies

Well... I just spent the last week working in Edmonton... which means I did nothing but work and hang out at my hotel. Working out and healthy eating just flew out the window, which I knew they would because I am terrible at being healthy when I travel. I just let all of my bad habits take over again because I have never actually tried to be healthy while traveling. Lucky for me though I am leaving to go to Mexico next week so I can try to teach myself to be healthy while on vacation there. I need to learn how to do it eventually because I am hoping to make travel a common and very important part of my life. There are so many places that I feel like I need to experience... but I don't want to end up looking and feeling the way I used to. I am going to be a sexy, fit, healthy, surfer hippie haha. It has been decided that that is how I will end up. Anyway...

While I was all by myself chilling in my hotel room for a week I spent some time thinking about this blog and where I wanted to go with it... and I have made the decision that this is going to be a lifestyle blog that focuses on health. I find that I am now really into health and wellness. Nutrition, working out, and even spiritual wellness.
With all of the changes that I have gone through over the past two years... I feel like I have already learned so much and I just want to keep that going.
So... I want to include recipes and healthy eating tips, favorite workouts and easy at home work outs, a before and after page (cause you know I have lost 95 lbs... so I definitely look different), outfit posts, posts on anything that I create, inspirational posts... things like that. This is what I am really into and if I actually try maybe I will start to do all of the things that interest me...

I am working on a schedule so I should have it done and be totally up and running by March 4/13... we shall see though :)

Much Love

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Having fun...


I know it has only been a few days but I am already completely hooked on pilates. I find it to be so much fun and I am a huge fan of working out with the girls at lunch. I am super stoked to do it everyday... and when I move to the island I really hope I can find a cheap class somewhere (maybe even at VIU) so that I can keep it up. I never thought that it would be possible for me to be the kind of person who enjoys working out but the more that I do it the more I like it. I think that the dream of being a fit surfer girl might actually come true... and that gives me hope. Hope that my life has the potential to turn out exactly how it appears in my dreams.  I am not expecting it to just happen or to just fall into my lap, I am fully expecting to have to work my fucking ass off actually... but to know that if I try and if I actually do the work, my life could be even more amazing then it already is... how fucking wonderful is that?

I know that lately my posts have just been incoherent rambles about my daily life but honestly...I am so excited to get away from this place and start over in a new place that I don't even really care about this blog having no purpose... the only reason I keep posting is so that I can remember stuff and so that when I actually do give this blog a purpose and start posting all the time people can look back and think whoa this girl was a terrible blogger. I'm not too concerned about it... I know that I will eventually step up my game... and honestly when I say that I really mean when I move... and this blog will become awesome... I have a bunch of ideas rolling around in my head and I am pretty excited to get the ball rolling but I just can't find the time right now. I work for so many hours during the week (at a job that sucks the life from me) that when I finally get home I do not want to worry about doing anything other then working out, eating, getting high, journaling, and watching tv/ movies. That is my life... and at this point it is all that my life can be. I am making this promise to myself though... I promise to continue to think and plan out how I want this blog to be, I will give it a purpose, and I will have a schedule made up by May 1st, 2013 and I will for sure start regular posting when I get back from South America in July. That should give me enough time to plan out something amazing and totally me. I refuse to be anyone else though... so this blog being "me" is all it really can be. Sooo...look forward to that haha.

Anyway... the plan today is... Work... hopefully for only 11 hours... I would love to be gone by 8:00pm tonight. 
Work out tonight... if I get home before 9:00pm that is... I don't like to work out after 9:30.
Watch some Homeland... I am a fan of this show.
Smoke some cannabis... most likely haha
Sleep... a lot!!

- Tomorrow I am starting a new tattoo so look forward to seeing some pics of that :)

Much Love

Friday, January 25, 2013

What happened to actually trying?

Hola Gorgeous Hippies!

I have been thinking quite a bit about all of the things I dream about and the things that I wish I could make happen, and all of the things I wish I knew how to do. It's actually pretty ridiculous, if I am not doing anything or if I am laying in bed or zoned out it is because I am thinking about this imaginary life that I wish I could have. 
Then last night it hit me... like a bag of fucking bricks I might add... how am I ever going to accomplish any of these things that I dream about if I never actually try to accomplish them. I never try to do anything. I just dream and think and imagine but never get off of my ass to learn anything. What is wrong with me?? How is it possible that I can see all these amazing things happen in my life but I can't make them happen. It really is a sad state of affairs :( Especially when everything that I want to learn how to do I could just look up on youtube. I would never have to take a class or fork out the cash for a teacher, it is seriously just one click away. 
Grrr... I don't know why I am so damn lazy. I know that it won't be an easy fix but I truly believe that I can make the life that I imagine in my head happen in real life!! 

I need to make a list of all of the shit that I want to learn to do and then actually do it. I will post it here and then keep posting regular updates... maybe that will make me actually keep it up.

I'll keep you posted :)

Much Love


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

What's Up?

Hola Gorgeous Hippies!!

Picture found here.

I am already having a bad day and it isn't even 10 am yet :( ... It all started when I ran over some mysterious sharp thing and got a flat tire. Man Alive!! I fucking hate the hassle of flat tires, driving on the spare is a huge pain in the ass (because I enjoy speeding)... grrr. It was such a shitty way to start the day. I honestly can't wait to live on the island. The one thing that Christy and I both want to make sure happens is that we live within walking distance to where we work and to VIU. I want to be able to walk or ride my bike everywhere. I have been the primary driver for EVERYTHING for years now and I am kind of sick of it. I just want a break. I want to be able to go on walking adventures (which we will do... ALL THE TIME).
I can't get over how excited I am for all of the changes that are happening and that will happen this year. I am going to sound like a broken record until then... YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!

So... one of the girls in my office is getting married in July so she is trying to shed a little bit of weight and inches before the big day and she asked me if I would be interested in doing yoga everyday at lunch with her. Of course I said yes. I have wanted to do yoga for forever... but I have always been too much of a chicken shit to actually go and take a class because I feel like it would be terribly embarrassing. I have very limited flexibility, seriously, I can't even touch my toes. It is sad... but it is also why I have always wanted to try yoga. I have heard nothing but awesome things about it. It is obviously super good for you and makes people lean and strong and tall. Which is everything that I want to be, so why not give it a try? I bet it is going to be super difficult though... we shall see I guess.

Anyway... tonight I am going to work out, eat a salad, get baked, drop my car off at my parents house so my dad can take it to work to fix the tires tomorrow (hmmm...I should do this one before the get high one), and watch a movie. I may work on some art or clean my kitchen as well. I want to have a productive I will haha.

Much Love