My life has been weird lately... Not bad... Just weird. I feel disconnected from my life. Does that make sense??
I'm not unhappy... it's just that I feel as if I am not truly appreciating all that life has to offer, I appreciate the wonderful experiences that the universe has blessed me with but I do not go out in search of new and beautiful things on a daily basis. I do not take care of myself the way that I should... physically or mentally. Spiritually I feel as if I am doing just fine... For me spirituality is going outside, being a part of nature, and smoking a bowl... but there is always room for improvement in the spiritual department. There is so much that I want to do and see and feel in my life and all I can think about it what I want to do... just expecting it to happen because I want it to.
I don't try to make these awesome things happen.
I am scared... of what I couldn't possibly say... maybe
Okay okay... I lied... I know what I am scared of... what really holds me back... my fear of being seen, of having people judge me for doing things my own way. As much as I pretend I don't care, and I know that I shouldn't care, it still lingers in the back of my mind at all times.
I have been brainwashed into thinking that I should want the "normal" life. I am only now beginning to truly break free from the thoughts and ideas that have restricted me my entire life.
I know exactly what I want out of life... now I just need to start moving. Start thinking, start doing anything that will make my dreams a reality.
I do not want to watch anymore... I do not want to sit idly by as my life goes zooming past. I have missed the last ten years of my life. NO MORE!! I am going to grab life by the balls... and now that I have said that on here, I will have to follow through because my two closest friends read this... :/
I hope I have it in me. I want to be so full of joy everyday that I can barely contain it. I want to wake up with a smile on my face, and I would like it to stay there all day. I want to get rid of the relationships that are no longer working for me. I want to expunge all of the clutter from my life. I want to let creativity flow through my veins. I want to be able to express that creativity in any and all ways. I want to walk outside and breathe the life giving air and feel the mother flow through me. I want happiness, and joy, and love.
I don't want to hurt anymore...and I don't want to hurt others either. I want everybody to love their lives. I hope that this becomes my journey... I hope you will all join me on my journey and bring some joy into all of your lives :)
WHOOOO... That was quite the ramble :)
On a lighter note...
Aren't they adorable... you have all seen Scout before... but the last two pictures are my newest addition..
World... meet Atti (short for Atticus)
Isn't she beautiful. If you are sad just look at the pile of cuteness above and SMILE!!
Love and Changing Tides
Anie
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