It doesn't matter though because I am going to just pick myself up and start all over again... Today!!
Right now my life is pretty much all about learning to be healthy and forcing myself to eat right and workout, even when I don't want to. The hardest part of this entire situation is not slipping into my old eating disorder habits every time I gain a pound. My brain still tells me after I step on the scale and see that it is above 160 lbs to skip a meal (or a few meals) to get back to where I think I should be. I haven't succumbed to that though so I am pretty darn proud of myself... I have gotten rid of the eating disorder and am slowly getting rid of the impulses all by myself. It makes me feel strong. So... my main priorities are eating 3 meals that I make myself everyday with a couple healthy snacks if I am hungry or low energy, I will no longer eat after 8:00 pm, and I will workout 1-2 times per day, EVERYDAY... I am starting Jillian Michaels 30 day shred tonight so hopefully that will help me get down to my goal weight of 150 lbs and my goal size (size 6 in dresses, size 8 in pants) by June 1/13. I can do this!!! I have lost 91 lbs in the last 2 years so an extra 12 lbs should be easy for me.
I will be updating on how the 30 day shred goes... Here are my starting measurements (in centimeters) and weight.
Neck- 33 Bust- 97 Under bust- 86 Waist- 79
Hips- 104 Arms- 28 Thighs- 51 Calves- 38
Stomach @ the biggest part- 89
Weight- 162 lbs
I am pretty damn excited about this... which I hope I will use as motivation to not give up. I give up a lot, I technically started the 30 day shred last Monday but didn't do it at all this weekend (which is fucking stupid because it is only a 20 minute workout) which means that I have to start all over again because the whole point of the 30 day shred is to do it everyday for 30 days. I will not give up this time!!! I am going to work my ass off to make this happen because the only way I will get my dream body is if I work for it... it won't magically happen like it does in my dreams. I am in for the long haul... I have been fat before and unhealthy always and it is not something I wish to continue in my life.
- I am slowly starting to go through all of my shit and get rid of a bunch of stuff. I started with my books which are still sitting in a huge box at the bottom of my stairs and my huge bag collection. I decided to keep 15 bags and if I buy a new one I have to get rid of an old one. I cannot keep defining myself by my possessions. Next I will actually take all of the books I am getting rid of to the library and I will be going through my clothes and my shoes. I own a tonne of both and only wear a few things. My end goal is to be able to fit everything in my dresser and one of my small closets. I am pretty stoked to get rid of everything because I don't want to have to pack and move all of my useless shit to Nanaimo. I only need to bring things that I use and wear on a regular basis and all of my art. The walls of our place will be completely covered floor to ceiling in awesome art.
- Anyway.... I should probably start working so here are some pictures...
The most delicious salad ever
The start of my new tattoo
The most hilarious burn ever... Mexico was not kind to my sister lol
I cleaned off the table and they decided to sit on it. Everything I own is theirs!!
Awww.... he is SO CUTE!!!